Memoirs of the Jealousness that is Me
by Paloma Latina
Summary: Lily is really jealous. All her friends have boyfriends and she wants one. The only problem is that Potter is the only available option. Written as Diary Format. Lily allows her envy to take over and finds herself in a few awkward situations. LJ, MPPOC
1. The Jealousness Begins

**Okay, this is a new story from me, so review. I may or may not continue. I just really wrote this chapter in my boredom. Review will most definitely make me write a new chapter.**

**This particular Fic is in diary form. Lily's diary to be exact. I didn't include too many descriptions of the Marauders because you all know what they look like. Peter Pettigrew is NOT in this Fic because I hate his guts. So yeah, Read and Review.**

**6 pages of writing!

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**Monday 13th **

**Great Hall 6.46 pm**

**Being Jealous**

I know I shouldn't be jealous, but I can't help it. I really can't. I should probably tell you why I'm jealous, hey? Well... Everybody has somebody and I don't! That felt good to get of my chest. Phew.

Amy Harris. A stunning, short, brunette with big brown eyes has Remus Lupin. Why does _she_ get him? He is sensitive, kind, studious, handsome and he has really cool yellow eyes. Right now, for example, Amy is sitting on his lap, _AND_ they are being all lovey-dovey. You may wonder why I'm jealous that Amy has him, but, I just am, okay. She may be one of my dorm mates, and a best friend, but I can't help but be jealous.

Then there is Natasha McGarrell. A tall, short-haired brunette with deep blue eyes and a crazy personality who has... Sirius Black. I guess I kind of always knew they liked each other. But he is a player! She deserves better. Okay, that was way harsh. He isn't a player, I'm just jealous. Sirius isn't exactly ugly. In fact he is infuriatingly good looking. He has dark brown hair, sparkly blue eyes and is too strong to be healthy. Right now, they are kissing like a pair of lovebirds, which they are, I guess.

No, I am not forgetting Scarlet Montez. A very (very, very, very) short, blonde, girly-girl with bright blue eyes. She – the lucky bum – gets Logan Blue (a very, very, very tall boy). Imagine if they get married... Scarlet Blue. Is that an oxymoron? She'll have the same initials as Sirius Black. Anyway, they are doing the whole _"No, I love you more"_ conversation. Logan is almost as tall as _he-who-I-will-not-name-in-case-my-friends-find-my-diary-and-know-I-know-he-exists_, but he is blonde – just like her -, has dark blue eyes and is the keeper on the Gryffindor Quiddich team. I guess it is kind of cute how they have such a height difference. I mean, Logan can rest his elbows on her head without lifting them. There is a good 1.5 foot difference there.

Last, but not least, is Jenna Watters. She is off with Logan's _twin brother_, Tyler. I think they said they were going to go for a walk around the lake. I don't see why, its dark outside. But maybe it is because I am not _madly_ in love like all my friends. Jenna is the tallest of all us girls. She has white-blonde hair, deep blue eyes and pale skin. When I first saw her, I thought she was a Malfoy. But then I realised she was smiling. Malfoys don't smile, they sneer. It's _highly_ unattractive.

So, that is why I am jealous. Tomorrow is Valentines Day and I am dateless. Potter (a.k.a. _he-who-I-will-not-name-in-case-my-friends-find-my-diary-and-know-I-know-he-exists_. Darn, I mentioned him) has teased me about it. He has Gertrude-Long-Legs to fall back on since he has stopped asking me out. All the girls mentioned above – apart from Gertrude - are my best friends, they'll understand my misery.

* * *

**Common Room 8.12 pm**

**Working on an apology**

I am in a wave of guilt at the moment. I have just made Scarlet cry. Logan will fix that though. He'll probably do something sweet. Now I'm jealous again. This is what happened...

"I love you _more_."

"No. I love _you_ more."

"Nah,_ I_ do."

"Shut up, Scarlet, Logan. I am trying to write in my diary. You are not helping!" I snapped. Now I feel really bad. Scarlet has gone all teary-eyed and Logan is going all lovey-dovey again to make her feel better. Yuck. Not really that yuck.

"Lily, that was way harsh," Scarlet pouted.

"Well, if you would take your Love Fest somewhere else, I wouldn't have to shout!"

"Love Fest?" she yelled back. The whole Great Hall was watching at that point, teachers included. "What do you mean Love Fest? Just because I show my feelings does not mean you have the right to be mean." She stood up and looked down at me – which, I'm tellin' ya, didn't really work because she only ended up a few inches taller. Even _with_ me sitting down. "I can't believe you would say something like that!"

She turned to her boyfriend and pulled him up by his school tie. "What, honey?" Logan managed to ask before taking another sip of pumpkin juice. She shot me a hurt look and dragged Logan out of the Great Hall, never once letting him go.

"Good one!" Tasha managed to say before one again gluing her mouth to Sirius'.

Now I felt bad. Remus and Amy shook their heads at me then went back to gazing into each other's eyes. Then Potter came to interrupt again.

"Hey, Evans. Why is Scarlet crying?" I made her cry? At that point I felt truly terrible!

"I don't know, Potter." I turned to face him and scowled. Gertrude-Long-Legs was hanging off him.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for him. He doesn't ask me out any more. But could they be less... _affectionate_? I know I am being a bit hypocritical. I just made one of my best friends cry because she is high on love, but really, Hogwarts would be dull if nobody was in love.

"Good morning, Lily," Gertrude chirped. Didn't she realise it was... I don't know... _night time_?

"Good evening, Gertrude," I managed to hiss before storming out of the Great Hall in a Scarlet-like fashion. Only, I wasn't dragging a poor boy with me by his tie.

I ran up the stairs to the seventh floor. _Gryffindor Domain_. I walked through some halls and found Scarlet and Logan up ahead. I was about to call out so I could apologise to Scarlet, but they tumbled into a broom closet and shut the door. I got out of that corridor so, fast it was **not** funny. I walked up to the Head Dorms – which I share with Potter, unfortunately – and dumped my bag on my bed. It is a lonely life, being Head Girl.

I sat for a while before skipping over to the Common Room that the rest of the House share, and sitting in front of the fire. I waited around for any friends that might appear, but it seems they are too much in love to care about a lonely red-head. And now, I have to think of an apology for Scarlet.

* * *

**Tuesday 14th**

**Great Hall 7.11 am**

**Breakfast, overwhelmed by love. Not.**

I didn't have time to apologise to Scarlet last night; she was too busy with _other_ things. But now, I am sitting in the Great Hall, which has been decorated... festively. The walls are pink, the floors are pink, the tablecloths – on the now _round _ten or so tables replacing the five normal big ones – are red, the sky is covered with hearts, little lovebirds are flying around the ceiling and tiny charmed garden gnomes are singing love songs. I feel thoroughly depressed.

Today is a holiday for all seventh years. They love Valentines Day. I am the only one here apart from Daphne Anderson and Jonah Hubble. Who, might I add, are snogging like it's nobody's business. Which, it isn't, but I'm still jealous. Even Jonah (the great prat) has somebody!

"Hello, Evans!" Oh Great, Potter has arrived.

I grunted something barely audible and stuffed some bacon onto my plate. He sat down across the table from me, Gertrude-less I noticed.

"Where is Girt?" I asked in a sickly sweet voice.

"Oh," he looked down at his plate, awkwardly. "We broke up."

"Right before Valentines Day?" I tried to show concern, but really, none of it was real.

"Yeah. She is way too clingy. It is... I don't know... frustrating."

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that."

Sorry? Hell, I am over the moon now. I am singing a little song in my head. "NO MORE GERTRUDE, NO MORE GERTRUDE!" No, he did not hear it. I can't stand Gertrude. I am forced to hang around with her while my friends are off with the Gryffindor boys. It sucks, I tell you, it sucks! Now she is gone, I am free!

"Hello, Lily, James."

Scarlet has arrived, hand-in-hand with Logan. Damn, he is looking twice as good as usual. This is so not fair. Today, Scarlet is wearing her little pink dress. It looks glorious on her. She has a matching bow in her hair and Logan has a shirt to match. They are the perfect couple. I'm jealous, again.

"Good morning, Scarlet. Good morning, Logan."

I tried not to let my jealousy show, I really did. Stupid Potter noticed though because he smirked. Highly unattractive in a woman to be jealous, it is. The couple sat down next to Potter and Logan poured Scarlet out some coffee. How cute. I wish I had somebody to pour coffee for me. Logan put his arm around Scarlet and they beamed at each other. Now I am too jealous for it to be healthy.

"Is somebody _jealous_?"

I turned my head to find Jenna bending over to look me in the face. She had her hair out and also looked stunning. How could she tell I was jealous? Tyler snuck up behind her and covered her eyes with his hands.

"Guess who!"

Jenna smiled and took his hands away. Tyler winked at her and then they went all huggey and slid into the seat next to me. Tyler isn't as tall as Logan, but he isn't far off. They look the same apart from the height and Tyler's eyes are much darker. Tyler poured out some cereal for Jenna and they started kissing. I wish I had somebody to pour out cereal for me too. Hell, I wish they would make my whole breakfast for me.

Only a few seconds later, two little gnomes started singing to Scarlet and Logan. I am soooo buggered. Jealousy makes my skin go funny and I have been exposed to too much of it. Any bets that my face will be a replica of the moon by tomorrow. And not in the glowey happy way - the creator way.

"Morning, everybody!"

Great, Tasha and Sirius are here to increase my jealous meter. If that is possible.

"Morning!" everybody sung back. Well, everybody _but_ me.

They sat down on Potter's other side and once again glued their mouths together. Okay, THAT is one thing I'm not wishing for. Do they mind? Eurgh. The only thing I need now is Amy and Remus to appear, and then my day will be completely trashed. I was planning on spending all today ranting to my friends about the boring duty of Head Girl. Obviously they have better things to look forward to.

"Never fear, I am hear!"

Great. Mental asylum... HERE I COME!

"Morning, Amy, Remus."

Just as they were sitting in the two empty spots between Tasha and Tyler, the owls flew in over the Hall and dropped countless amounts of mail on the round tables. Most of which are now full of kissing couples.

"You alright there, Evans?" Potter has just asked. "You seem to be taking all your anger out on your diary."

Everybody on the table stopped what they were doing and turned to me, quill in one hand, diary in the other. I looked to each of them in turn. Tasha and Sirius had lipstick smudged on their faces, Scarlet was on Logan's lap, Jenna and Tyler were holding hands and Amy and Remus were reading the paper together. Now I am even more depressed. Potter and I are the only dateless ones. That sucks. Seriously.

"I'm fine," I murmured and went back to writing in my diary.

I HATE POTTER!

After a few good minutes of silence from me, Potter suggested an escape route. "Hey, Evans!" I turned to look at him. "Want to escape from the Kissing Quartet?"

"Hey, there are eight of us!" Amy pointed out.

"Yeah, but you guys are snogging so often I'm surprised you aren't sown together by the face."

That got a few bits of love heart confetti thrown at him by the gnomes. Ha. We both got up and ran out of the Hall before one of the love charms hit us and made us kiss. I don't know why Dumbledore agreed to this day off. I would much rather do three essays. Wait, I have three nice fat essays still to do for Transfiguration, Herbology and Defence against the Dark Arts. That'll pass the time.

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**Ten Reasons why I want a Boyfriend:**

1. It would shut Potter up.

2. I wouldn't have to burn myself trying to pour coffee.

3. I'd never have to make cereal again.

4. I wouldn't be one of the dateless morons inhabiting the Common Room.

5. I would have somebody to read the paper with.

6. I wouldn't be as bored as I am.

7. No more jealousy... for a while.

8. More birthday presents.

9. More Christmas presents.

10. It would shut Potter up.

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**How did it go? Did I do alright? Who wants another chapter? Tell me and I'll writet another one. I love this fic. It is so fun. Tash, Amy and Jenna are my best friends but I made Scarlet up. I know that this story gets juicier every chapter so if you want some, come get it! By reviewing, I mean. That could be taken very wrongly.**

**RG**


	2. The Perfect Plan

**Okay, so I thought I would update this story first. Don't ask why, I don't know. I need to know what you guys think though. Review so everything (almost) will go your way. Everybody likes things their way. That could be taken wrongly too. I need therapy if I want to stop making weird remarks. Anyway, onward...

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**Tuesday 14th**

**By the Lake**

**Potter is being a prat. Kind of.**

Potter and I ran out of the Hall as fast as lightening. Okay, that is only possible in the movies. But I bet we would have run a close second. If it helps.

"So, Evans. Why are you jealous of everybody all of a sudden?" he asked, dipping his feet into the lake's cool water.

There is no point lying to him. He may have made my life a living Hell last year. And the year before. But, seriously, we are just friends now.

"Because." Okay, so it isn't really telling the truth, but it isn't lying either.

"Because...?" He is giving me one of those weird looks again. I hate it.

"Because, all my friends are really happy."

"Why are they happy?" I get the feeling he knows why, he just wants me to admit it.

"Becauseeverybodyhassomebodybutme," I said, very quickly.

He just smirked. Why does he look attractive when he does it yet when I do it I look like an orange on a sugar high? I am so jealous. Again.

"Well, all you have to do is fix that." Then he got up and walked away.

I HATE POTTER.

There are heaps of reasons why I hate him, I just can think of them all at once. But what did he mean by that? I put my feet in the water too. It feels good.

**What Potter may have meant when he said "All you have to do is fix that.":**

1. I should be his girlfriend

2. I should break my friends and their boyfriends up

3. I should get a boyfriend who is better than theirs and they will hang out with me again.

4. I should stop being jealous

5. He is secretly in love with one of them and wants me to do suggestion 2.

Okay, option 1. That is ruled out because I know he is over me. He stopped asking me out, he went out with (and broke up with, but that doesn't count because I said so) Gertrude and because he knows it won't happen.

Option 2. I guess I could always break them up. I think that should wait a while though. I wouldn't want to be mean or anything.

Option 4. Stop being jealous? Ha. Like that is going to happen any time soon.

Option 5. Potter like one of my friends? Maybe.

Wait, have I missed one? Option 3.

BINGO!

I can make them jealous. That way they will totally stop going off with their boyfriends and hang with me and mine instead. Okay, now all I have to do is get a boyfriend better than the Gryffindor boys combined. I should write another list.

**Must Have Characteristics of my new Boyfriend:**

1. Must be hot like all of the boys.

2. Sensitive like Tyler, Logan and Remus.

3. Caring and protective like all of the boys.

4. Tall like Sirius and Logan.

5. Romantic like Remus and Tyler.

6. Good at Quiddich like Sirius and Logan.

7. Smart like Remus and Sirius.

8. Enthusiastic like Sirius and Tyler.

9. Intellectual like Remus.

10. Loving like Tyler.

11. Popular like Logan.

12. Charming like Sirius.

13. Adorable like Remus.

14. And must only show affection to one girl like Tyler and Logan (Doesn't that sound sweet?).

Wow! I never realised how good the boys are. **BAD LILY!** Stop thinking about boys and start devising a plan to bag a boyfriend greater than all of your friends' ones put together.

But, which boy in all of Hogwarts is that perfect?

Man, I am way in over my head.

* * *

**Tuesday 14th**

**Common Room 11.45 am**

**Watching couples snog**

Okay, that was an overstatement. Nobody is snogging, yet. Everybody apart from me and Potter are with somebody. It is real depressing.

Tasha and Sirius. Well, at least this time they aren't snogging the breath out of each other. They are sitting on the floor playing chess together. Amy and Remus are watching them from the loveseat by the fire. They aren't doing anything coupley but they are enjoying each others company. That's nice.

"Oi, Scarlet!" Jonah yelled over to her from the Portrait Hole.

Scarlet didn't notice though. She is lying across the couch with her head on Logan's lap and they are gazing into each other's eyes. I'm so envious. If I could have a perfect relationship, it would be the same as Logan and Scarlet's. Grrr...I'm jealous again. This is not good for my skin.

"Hey, Evans?" Jonah said, startling me so I fell off the couch and landed on the floor. Only he noticed though.

"What?" I hissed, sitting back in the armchair.

"Could you tell Scarlet that McGonagall is looking for her?" I nodded quickly and he left me to swim in jealousy.

Jenna and Tyler are away from the Common Room. Tyler planned a whole picnic lunch for them and they are off by the Lake. I wish I had somebody to make a picnic for me. Only, I still need to find the perfect boy to get my friends back so I have no time for wishing.

I know! I'll _create_ the perfect boy!

That is so evil, it might actually work.

* * *

**Tuesday 14th**

**Library 12.20 pm**

**Everybody else is at lunch.**

I ran up to Slughorn and got a note for a special book in the restricted section. He is so easy to manipulate. The librarian was fooled too. Ha. After about 20 minutes of searching, I have found the perfect book. It's all old and dusty.

_The Road to Making Others Jealous is only a Potion Away._

Who thinks of titles like that? It's my kinda book. I flipped through the pages to look for a human-making procedure. There were stuff like love potions and skill enhancers. Boring. I found the right one toward the back. It seemed quite simple and the ingredients aren't hard to get. The list of ingredients is quite variable, actually.

_**Main Ingredients: **(ideal to gather twice as much in case of repeats)_

_3 Fairy Eggs, crushed_

_1 Daisy_

_½ Mandrake leaf, chopped finely_

_4 Spiders, alive_

_18 Scarab Beetles, pulped_

_2 ounces of fresh spring water_

_**Variable Ingredients: appearance**_

_Gender: Sweat from desired gender_

_Eyes: Place one drop of your choice of eye colour of a piece of silk_

_Hair colour: One hair of your choice_

_Skin: 1 drop of lemon juice - lightest; 8 drops – darkest._

_**Variable Ingredients: Characteristics**_

_The ingredients for desired characteristics, is not fixed. You will need to search for them yourself. Make sure that the items resemble the specific detail correctly to avoid disappointment. Good luck!_

_**Method:**_

_Bring water to the boil in an extra large cauldron and stir clockwise once._

_Add daisy and turn temperature down to low. Add ¼ of the lemon juice and all of the sweat before mixing the potion to a blue colour. Allow the cauldron to sit until it thickens to a paste. Pour in the left over lemon juice and wait three minutes before adding the silk and hair. _

_Turn the temperature up to high and wait for twenty-four hours. Potion should be a rose pink. Slowly add the variable characteristic ingredients and leave for exactly six hours. Add all other ingredients and stir counter-clockwise twenty-four times. Wait between eight to thirteen minutes at a safe distance._

_Voila, you have the perfect human._

_Warning: Human vanishes after one month, side effects may occur, human will have no magical power._

Well? Should I do it? Of course I should, I'm only human. It is settled, I am going to make this potion to create the perfect boyfriend and make all my friends jealous and want to spend more time with me. I am so evil. But this is so good, it might actually work.

* * *

**Tuesday 14th**

**Great Hall 12.40 pm**

**Eating lunch surrounded by those infected with love.**

They are in love, but I don't care. I have a secret weapon, THE perfect boyfriend for me. Potter is stuck between two random fifth year girls across from me who, coincidentally, are in his fan club. Okay, so it isn't a coincidence. I called them over. Potter is so angry at me right now. They aren't exactly beauties, either.

"You played really well at training, _James_," the blonde one said with her head on his shoulder.

"Yeah, you are going to win this next match," said the brunette hanging onto his arm. He isn't going to reply though. He is too busy giving me the evil eye. He is quite good at it too.

"Jamsie...?" The blonde girl is trying to get his attention. "Jamsie...?" Still giving me the evil eye. "JAMSIE?"

"Evans? Are you okay?"

I couldn't help it. I burst into a fit of laughter and fell of my chair. It probably is one of those "You had to be there" things, but it is still funny. Potter is being swamped by two ugly fifth years and it is my entire fault. Life... is good. I hopped back into my chair and continued eating. I can feel the evil glare though.

"Jamsie..." The rest of the sentence is too disgusting to write in my beautiful diary.

"No thanks, Ashley. I'd rather not." Potter is looking very uncomfortable. Maybe I should help him. Nah!

"Jamsie..." I couldn't hear the rest of what the brunette said but Potter looked ready to throw up. I can't let them do that to him. I may hate him but this is just wrong.

"Oi, Potter?" Potter shot his head up from his plate where he, no doubt, was about to be sick. He had a kind of pleading look in his eye. I may be evil enough to create a boyfriend to make my friends jealous, but I am not about to let these girls throw themselves at him – even if the pervert is used to it.

"Yes?"

"I need your help with something."

He winked. Obviously he saw what I was doing and appreciated it. He got up very quickly and walked to the Entrance Hall with me.

"Thankyou!" he said. "I'll do anything to pay you back. Anything."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

I had to think about this. "Well, next time I need a favour, I'll ask you." With that, I walked off to go find the ingredients. This is going to be fun.

* * *

**Tuesday 14th**

**Head Dorm 1.40 pm**

**Mind Blank**

Okay, so I have no idea how to get my hands on all these ingredients. I'll write another list. I'm getting good at it.

3 Fairy Eggs – Available at Hogsmeade.

1 Daisy – Hogwarts Lawn.

½ Mandrake leaf – Greenhouse 3.

4 Spiders, alive – I hate spiders. Maybe I can get some innocent first year to do it. I'll have to see about that.

18 Scarab Beetles – Hogsmeade.

2 ounces of fresh spring water – It can be bottled, right? Jenna only drinks water. She is bound to have some bottled spring water somewhere.

Sweat from desired gender – Ew. Quiddich practice?

Place one drop of your choice of eye colour of a piece of silk – Silk from Tasha's wardrobe (she doesn't need all those skirts) and ink from Remus' stash.

One hair of your choice – "Excuse me, can I pluck out your hair?" If it doesn't work, I'll steal some.

1 drop of lemon juice - lightest; 8 drops – darkest – Kitchens. Dah.

Hotness – I'll put a picture of a flame in.

Sensitivity – Bunnies! I'll _borrow_ one from Hagrid.

Protective – Third floor corridor has an old shield lying around.

Height – I'll measure out some rope.

Romantic – A red rose and a love poem. Note: Amy has some lying around.

Quiddich skills – I don't have a spare broom, but I'm sure somebody will.

Smart – An old book.

Enthusiastic – Sugar!

Intellectual – Glasses from creepy Lockhart kid.

Loving – A love heart.

Popular – Would a clipping of a famous singer work?

Charming – The One-liner book I gave Tyler as a joke in second year. He doesn't use it. Does he?

Adorable – A puppy! Maybe not. I can't get my hands on one of those. Maybe a picture of one?

Must only show affection to one girl – I have no idea. A picture of me, maybe?

Hmm...

I am bound to get most of these but I may need some outside help. I guess I could always sink to the Marauders level and hire them. Hey, if I'm low enough to make my friends jealous, I can hire Marauders. DON'T JUDGE ME!

"Evans!" Great, the Potter has arrived.

"What, Potter?" I hissed.

"Your friend is in trouble."

"What?"

"Scarlet. Apparently she was supposed to see McGonagall and she didn't go."

Oops.

"Crap. I was supposed to tell her but I didn't. Oh no. What am I going to do?"

"Come on, we'll go see her. You may need a helmet, a shield, a sword and a stunning potion though."

"Oh Ha-Ha."

God, I think I believe him.

* * *

**Tuesday 14th**

**Outside Portrait Hole 2.00 pm**

**Too scared to go inside.**

Potter and I walked up to the Common Room to go see Scarlet. I really don't want to go inside. What if she is in a lot of trouble? What if she is going to kill me? What if...

"Evans, calm down." Potter is giving me a worried look.

"But, what if she is angry?"

"Do you know why McGonagall wanted to see her?"

"No."

"Then how do you know she is angry?"

"I assumed it."

"Do you know what happens when we **ass**_u_me?"

"..."

"You make an **ass** of _u_ and me." Remus must have told him that one. "Now go inside and apologise for not telling Scarlet."

He is too convincing. Maybe that is how he gets girls to go out with him.

* * *

**5 Reasons not to go into the Common Room:**

1. Scarlet will ambush me.

2. Scarlet will kill me

3. Scarlet will set lions on me.

4. Scarlet will eat me.

5. I dont have the equipment Potter suggested.

* * *

**Hurrah! Another chapter up! You guys need to tell me where I have any mistakes. I have no idea how many I have but it makes me feel better to know. How did you like this chapter? You need to tell me so I know what to write next.**

**Next Chapter: A big surprise on the Scarlet front.**

**Thanks,**

**RG xoxoxoxox **


	3. The Kitchens

**Yay! I have finished the next chapter. Sorry it took so long. Everyday for the last week, two essays and one test are due. Can you believe that? Children my age should NOT have to live through that. So, here is the next (late) chapter. Are you ready for it? Of course you are. So here it is...Lily and Scarlet battle it out. Maybe not that violent though.

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**Tuesday 14th**

**Head Dorm, with Potter 7.00 pm.**

**Planning Prefect's routine, just visited Scarlet.**

It was creepy. I walked through the Portrait Hole in front of Potter with complete and utter coolness. Not really, he had to drag me through after him. That was not attractive. Once we were inside, I noticed only the seventh years were present (most covered in little pink love hearts from the gnomes). Scarlet probably frightened the rest away.

"Scarlet?" She turned to face me. Tears were running down her face and Logan was standing behind her giving her a hug. They look so cute together. Humpft. Not fair.

"Yes?" she sobbed. I felt bad now.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you McGonagall wanted you. I was busy with other..._things_." Tasha gave me a suspicious look and I threw a pillow at her. "I'm really sorry."

She glared. That is a sign that I'm about to be killed. Hooray. Not.

"What other_ things_, Lillian?" Uh-oh, she only calls me Lillian when she is very (very, very, very) angry. "Like, I dunno, devising a plan to make people jealous? Ha?"

Yes!

"No!" I shouted. "That was NOT what I was doing!" Ha. Yeah right!

"I know. I'm sorry." Scarlet mopped up her tears with the back of her hand. "I'm just very upset."

"Why?" Apart from being jealous, I'm also very nosey.

She sniffed and hugged Logan back. "My mother is visiting tomorrow."

**Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.**

"And, for starters, she wants to meet Logan." The poor guy. "And then she wants to stay for dinner. Of course Dumbledore is saying yes to the visit. And, well, I'm just very nervous. I'm sorry I yelled."

"I'm sorry _I_ yelled." Then we hugged and everything was back to normal. For us anyway. When her mother comes, all Hell will break loose.

I should probably tell you why we all dread this. Scarlet was an orphan at the age of 3 weeks and an Italian family took her in. The couple were unable to have their own children, so they decided to adopt. Nobody knows what happened to Scarlet's parents, but she doesn't give a damn. The Montez family is very big now. The couple, also known as Gareth and Frelina, kept adopting any child that needed help. Now, Scarlet has eight brothers and is the only girl. Poor soul.

But that is not the reason why. The real reason is her Mum, Frelina. She grew up with a very strict mother and therefore became one herself. Poor Scarlet can't do anything without having permission. She can't even go to the corner shop to buy toothpaste! But somehow, Frelina found out that Scarlet has a boyfriend and will probably do something dreadful to Logan. Something like chopping his head off with a blunt axe and stringing his body parts around the Quiddich pitch and wipe her hands on his Keepers uniform. Ew. How do I think of these things? Oh well, Nearly Headless Nick will have a friend.

Maybe I should start planning his funeral...

Frelina is very tall and might feel intimidated by Logan because he is also very (very, very, very) tall. Hmm. I don't think that is a very good reason. I imagine she'll do something very nasty to him.

**Possible things Scarlet's Mother will do to her boyfriend:**

1. Steal his clothes while he is in the shower and make him run around in the nude.

2. Publicly humiliate him by printing his biggest secrets onto the school flags for everyone to see after torturing his girlfriend – her daughter – into telling her what they are.

3. Come after him with an axe. (The blunt one from my former predictions).

4. Lock Scarlet up in a castle and force her to grow her hair long to be able to see him.

5. Turn her into an ogre and make him have to pretend nothing is up. Not that I have anything against ogres, I don't.

6. Put snakes in his bed. Yuck.

"Evans!" Potter is yelling. Oops, I'm supposed to be helping. "I'm hungry, wanna catch a bite?"

"Yeah, I'm starving."

* * *

**Tuesday 14th**

**My Bed. 10.03 pm**

**Just got back from the kitchens.**

Wow! I never knew the Marauders got their food from the kitchens all this time. I thought they just had some dodgy stash under one of their beds. If I wasn't in a good mood, I would probably dob them in. It wouldn't really work though, Potter is a Head too and it would just be a waste of precious eating time.

"Hello, Miss. What may I get for you?"

I never knew they have house elves as cooks. I guess I never really wondered how the food got there. I am always too busy trying to eat myself out of jealousy. Lately, anyway. Potter looks like he has been there millions of times. The elves even bring out his favourites.

"Erm, could I have one serving of everything?" I asked.

"Yes, Miss. Right away, Miss."

They know how to treat a Head Girl, why doesn't the rest of the school?

"Evans, come sit over here." I walked over to the table Potter was sitting at and sat across from him. Thankfully, the little gnomes weren't throwing confetti at us because they don't have access to the kitchens. That would have been awkward otherwise.

"So, Evans, what have you got planned to get back with the jealousy plan?"

Oh, yeah. I forgot he knows. Well, there is no point lying to him. He is trustworthy. Plus, I seem to talk to him more than anybody else since Gryffindor got together. Well, apart from us, any who.

"Well..."

"Well?"

"Well...what?" He grinned. God, I love his grin.

Naughty Lily.

"_Well_, I've decided to make my own boyfriend. Just for me."

"Why?"

"Because I can't find anybody else suitable for the job."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Didn't I fit the position?" he asked, throwing his head up from his plate, nobly. He looked like a King.

"No, you don't."

"I am seriously offended," he replied, jokingly. It's nice to have a joke with somebody once in a while. It makes me feel better. Less jealous, actually. "So, how are you going to go about this...boyfriend?"

"Well, I found the perfect potion. It will allow me to mix and match all the types of personality that I want, right? Anyway, it only takes a few days to make and if I get the right ingredients by this weekend, I'll have him on Monday."

He slowly put down his goblet of pumpkin juice and sat back in his chair. "Are you sure you want to do that?" He was giving me a thoughtful look.

"Of course I want to do it! How else am I supposed to get my friend's attention back? Ha? I have no other choice!"

"Okay, calm down."

"I can't," I said miserably. "I want my friends back." I put my head in my hands and pouted at him. He chuckled and put his knife and fork together.

"Come on, let's get back."

We slowly walked back to the Head Dorms and collapsed in the lounge room.

"Will you need some help?"

"Ha?"

"With the potion?"

"Oh, that. Umm...I'll think about it."

"Alright." He stood up and walked up the staircase to our rooms. He stopped halfway. "'Night, Evans."

"'Night, Potter."

That was the first time in ages we had spoken without yelling or leaving one depressed. Maybe he really isn't as bad as I made him out to be. I walked up to the dorms soon afterwards. The rooms are two large bedrooms connected with a large bathroom. It's great. I only have to wait for one person to finish in the shower. Thankfully, neither of us have walked in on each other. Which is pretty good seeing as it is the third day of the second term. Snaps for Lily!

And now I am lying in bed wearing my pyjama – which is really an old singlet top and a pair of silk shorts - , thinking about my day. It is rather depressing to know that I'm so jealous that I am making people up. That is an all time new low for me. Great. Absolutely Perfect. Not.

Okay, well I'm going to bed now. I'll write again when anything interesting happens.

* * *

**Tuesday 14th**

**Back in my room 10.24 pm**

**Something happened**

I said I would write again when something happened, right? Well, something did. It is highly embarrassing and I wish not to tell anybody. But, alas, here I am writing it down in my diary...

I stood up, shortly after putting my diary down, and walked to the bathroom. I had forgotten to brush my teeth, which is rather disgusting, actually. I opened the door to find Potter – topless – in _MY_ bathroom brushing his teeth. I guess he thinks not brushing his teeth before bed is gross too.

"Hello, Evans," he said, toothpaste all over his face. "I see you came to brush your teeth too."

"What are you doing in _MY_ bathroom?"

"Your bathroom?" he asked shortly, spitting into the basin. "I thought it was ours."

He was right.

"Sorry, I'm just not used to finding people in my bathroom."

"Our bathroom."

"And," I continued as if there was no interruption. "I am in a bad mood."

"Aww...poor Lilykins. Has to share a bathroom with stinky Jamsie-Poo."

I punched him lightly on the shoulder and grabbed my pink toothbrush. I normally don't use pink because it clashes with my hair. But I do have a pink toothbrush for spiritual reasons. We stood there in silence just brushing our teeth. All was going okay until we both went to spit and bashed heads. We let out a snort of laughter and continued to spit, a bit further away from the sink this time.

"Sorry!" we both said at the same time and burst into laughter again. I'm not sure wether it was actually funny, but it was at the time. Then he rinsed and wiped his mouth on his hand towel. I did the same with my towel.

"Well, 'night, again," Potter called from his room.

"'Night," I called back.

I turned to walk back to my room, when I slipped on some water off the floor from my morning shower. I came crashing down onto my butt and heard a loud thud. How embarrassing. Potter rushed over and helped me off the floor. He was laughing. I was going to yell at him for making fun of me, when I realised I was giggling like mad too. Anyway, I thanked him and went back to my room, careful to dodge the puddle.

So there, that is my embarrassing story. I hope things like that don't ever happen again. I sware, Potter knows more about me than my best friends. Maybe he reads my diary...

* * *

**To Do List:**

1. Find a new hiding spot for my diary.

2. Arm myself with battle instruments in case of an attack from Scarlet or her mother.

3. Homework.

4. Prefect schedule re-draw.

5. Practice raising one eyebrow so I can impersonate Tyler.

6. Perfect Boyfriend Potion Ingredient Collecting. (Lots of big words there.)

* * *

**How did that one go? I really need to hear your thoughts. I DON'T HAVE ESP! What do you think should happen next? Best reviewer gets there very own character! I'm serious.**

**RG**


	4. The Plot Thickens

**Disclaimer: Anything that J.K. owns is NOT mine. Neither is the tune for my song, I stole it from an Allen's ad.

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**

**Hey readers,**

**As I said last week, the best reviewer gets a character there is still time to get yours in now. I won't be deciding till about chapter six and the character will appear in chapter seven. It's only chapter four! Anyway, it was full moon about two days ago and I wrote a little song for Remus.**

**I love my Reemybear (do-do do do)**

**He makes my heart go giddy-up (ba-dum bum bum)**

**He is as sweet as candy (do-do do doo)**

**At full moon he is scary... (Whoa-oooo-ooo)**

**I LOVE MY REEMYBEAR!**

**There, that's it. I don't think I'll be writing lyrics when I grow up. I suck. If anybody has any other songs they wrote about Remus, send them to me! Moving on...**

**This chapter is dedicated to SharkiesGirl for best review. You rock!**

**ICE COLD!

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**

**Wednesday 15****th**

**My bed 6.40 am**

**Woke up from a bad dream.**

I just woke up from a bad dream. Want me to tell you? Too bad, I am.

I dreamt that I made that potion and it all went wrong. Instead of being handsome (hot) he was covered in flames. Instead of being good at Quiddich, his head bounced around like a bludger and he ran toward randoms. Instead of being sensitive (bunnies), he had rabbit ears. Instead of being romantic, his hands were roses. Everything went wrong. He was a blue-flaming, bludger-bouncing, lemon skin-wearing, silk-haired, book-footed, wider-than-tall, shield-shaped pig that ran after me and left a trail of sweat wherever he went. Not the perfect boyfriend, thank you very much.

I am definitely asking Potter to help me with this one.

Well, I better go get dressed. School today. Great. Oh well, I actually enjoyed Valentines Day for once. Although, I did spend a lot of time with Potter. But, I guess that is okay in a way. He might actually help me.

* * *

**Wednesday 15****th**

**Potter's Room 7.00 am**

**NOT going to class today, nobody can make me do it. Nobody!**

I stood up after I finished writing in my diary and walked over to the mirror. What I saw was not what I expected. My face was a creator mine with spots. Potter must have done something.

"POTTER!" I screamed and stormed into his room.

He was lying on the floor with his bed sheets thrown all over the place. He must be a tosser. I used to be one of those. His black hair was all over the place and he looked drunk.

"POTTER!" I screamed again.

He turned onto his tummy and muttered something that sounded like, "Five more minutes, Sirius." I walked over to him and ripped the sheets off him. He slowly opened one eye but closed it when he saw me. "Not now, Evans."

"POTTER!" My voice was going rather hoarse.

He sat up and yawned. "What?"

"YOU DID THIS TO ME, DIDN'T YOU?" I asked, pointing to my face. He looked up at me and pretended to be scared.

"You have rabies!" he yelled childishly at me.

"I do not. What spell did you use?"

"Nothing, Evans. Go back to bed." He tried to get back on his bed but failed and ended up on the floor. "What time is it?"

"Six forty. Don't lie to me. I know you did it."

"I didn't. You got that from being too jealous."

It seemed like a reasonable answer but I wouldn't believe it at the time. Who was he to tell me how I got it? I still think he did it. He is just jealous that I thought of a way to get attention without going to desperate measures before him. Well, at least I don't think creating a boyfriend is going to desperate measures, is it? I sat on the floor next to him for a few minutes. I thought he had fallen asleep but he hadn't.

"Some thing else is bothering you, isn't there?"

How did he know?

"I had a nightmare."

"Aw, poor Lilykins had a bad dream. Does she need a hug?" He reached his arms up to give me a hug but I dodged them.

"I need your help," I pleaded.

He laid back down and tried to go to sleep again, on the floor. "What with?" he muttered.

"That thing I told you about."

"When?"

"Last night."

"About what?"

"The potion."

"What potion?"

"The one in my plan."

"What plan?"

He sure knows how to get me annoyed.

"The one with the potion. You know..."

"No. I don't."

"The one where I create a boyfriend to get back at my friends plan!" I yelled it so loud I bet my whole plan is foiled. Even the Slytherins could have heard me. It's all Potter's fault. "Look what you made me do, Potter!" I hissed. He didn't say anything. He was asleep.

I walked back to my room through the bathroom and sat on my bed. Nobody will make me go to school today. Nobody. I walked back into his room to ask one more thing...

* * *

**Wednesday 15****th**

**Bathroom 8.00 am**

**With Potter (not like that, you freaks)**

There is no need to worry about me not going to school. Potter is skiving off with me. Everybody trusts Heads, right? Even if they don't, who would suspect something about two Heads being sick on the same day? Okay, maybe because Potter is one.

"Will this do?"

Oh, Potter is going to help me make it today so I can have him ready by the weekend. He has just suggested the bath as our cauldron. It is one of those olden style ones that can be lifted off the ground. That'll be good when we need to put the flames under it. Today we are going to collect the ingredients. Hopefully we will have them all by dinner when Scarlet's mother comes. Gulp.

"Yeah, that'll be great." He smiled. It's infectious. Now I am smiling and writing.

"Let's go get those ingredients."

This'll be fun!

* * *

**Wednesday 14****th**

**Head Common Room 2.00 pm**

**Having Lunch with Potter**

Okay. We have some of the ingredients. Here is a recap of what has happened up until now...

We both had a shower (separate) and got dressed into suitable 'gathering' clothes. It was really just a pair of tight jeans (loose in James' case, thank goodness) and a white shirt. I grabbed my wand and shoved it in my jacket pocket. I've heard of witches and wizards who have had buttocks removed by putting wands in back pockets. I'd rather keep my butt whole, thank you very much.

"Ready, Potter?"

He was standing outside our rooms with some helpful Marauder tools. His invisibility cloak, the Marauders map (both of which I have found out about in the last couple of months) and his wand. He nodded and we both walked down to the Portrait Hole. I pulled out my list of characteristics and we climbed out into the corridor.

"What are we getting first?"

I looked at my list.

_3 Fairy Eggs – Available at Hogsmeade._

_1 Daisy – Hogwarts Lawn._

_½ Mandrake leaf – Greenhouse 3._

_4 Spiders, alive – I hate spiders. Maybe I can get some innocent first year to do it. I'll have to see about that._

_18 Scarab Beetles – Hogsmeade._

_2 ounces of fresh spring water – It can be bottled, right? Jenna only drinks water. She is bound to have some bottled spring water somewhere._

_Sweat from desired gender – Ew. Quiddich practice?_

_Place one drop of your choice of eye colour of a piece of silk – Silk from Tasha's wardrobe (she doesn't need all those skirts) and ink from Remus' stash._

_One hair of your choice – "Excuse me, can I pluck out your hair?" If it doesn't work, I'll steal some._

_1 drop of lemon juice - lightest; 8 drops – darkest – Kitchens. Dah._

_Hotness – I'll put a picture of a flame in._

_Sensitivity – Bunnies! I'll borrow one from Hagrid._

_Protective – Third floor corridor has an old shield lying around._

_Height – I'll measure out some rope._

_Romantic – A red rose and a love poem. Note: Amy has some lying around._

_Quiddich skills – I don't have a spare broom, but I'm sure somebody will._

_Smart – An old book._

_Enthusiastic – Sugar!_

_Intellectual – Glasses from creepy Lockhart kid._

_Loving – A love heart._

_Popular – Would a clipping of a famous singer work?_

_Charming – The One-liner book I gave Tyler as a joke in second year. He doesn't use it. Does he?_

_Adorable – A puppy! Maybe not. I can't get my hands on one of those. Maybe a picture of one?_

_Must only show affection to one girl – I have no idea. A picture of me, maybe?_

Yep. That's the right list.

"Lemon juice."

"We can get that during lunch."

"Okay, err, a daisy?"

"A daisy? What kind of potion is that?" I handed him the list. I saw his eyes skim over it and then he shrugged. "Obviously one for the desperate." I punched him.

We walked over to the staircase. Nobody was in sight. If we didn't want to get caught, we would have to be sneaky. Potter threw the silky invisibility cloak over us and we slowly walked down the stairs. We were almost past the Great Hall when the doors banged open. Tasha stormed out with her face red. I held my breath until she past. She was in a fiery mood.

"Do you reckon that is Sirius' fault?" I asked Potter.

"I wouldn't put it past him."

We finally made it out into the grounds and Potter took the cloak off us.

"Where are the daisies?" I asked.

"Over by the hills."

I barely ever go over to the hills. It is just a bare load of grass on a slope. Last time I went, anyway. But when we got there, I was surprised. All the grass was covered in bright, yellow daisies. It was like in those dreams you have where you run through fields. I hardly ever have those kinds of dreams, though.

"Wow!" I whispered. Potter grinned at me.

He bent down, scooped up a handful and handed them to me. I went red. I have no idea why, though. Maybe it's because that was the nicest thing anybody had done for me in a while. Anyway, we slowly walked back over to the doors and threw the cloak back over ourselves. Nobody was inside; I guess the bell had rung.

Potter pulled out my list and had another look at it. He was muttering things to himself, "_one liner...bunnies...flame..._FAIRY EGGS!"

He startled me so much I fell over, dragging him and the invisibility cloak with me. How embarrassing. We let out a snort of laughter and he pulled himself up.

"Watch it next time, Evans," he said, jokingly.

"Yeah? Well... nergh." I poked my tongue out while he pulled me up. I'm so immature.

"We'll go to Hogsmeade for those," he said, referring to the fairy eggs. "Maybe we can find some other things while we are at it."

I nodded and followed him up. He had the cloak wrapped up under his arm. I walked a step behind him until I realised we were in a corridor.

"Err...Potter? I don't know about you, but this doesn't really look like Hogsmeade to me."

"I know. This is a secret passageway _to_ Hogsmeade."

He tapped a statue and it moved away to reveal a dark hole. I gently put the daisies in my pocket and gave him a weary look.

"You want us to go in there?" I pointed at the blackness.

He nodded, grabbed my hand and pulled me down into the passageway. He led me though it for what felt like a long time. When we reached the end, he threw the invisibility cloak over us again and whispered a spell to turn his lumossed wand off. I was about to ask him what he was doing but he was already pushing away a panel in the roof.

"This way."

"Up there?" I yelled.

He snapped a hand over my mouth and put his finger up to his lips. "Shhhh! Above us is Honeyjukes cellar. Now I'm going to check if anybody is there. You be quiet, you hear?"

I nodded. What else was I supposed to do? He lifted the panel up again and peeked around. The coast was clear. He walked out, pulling me behind him. We walked up a set of stairs, through the crowded shop and into the busy street. I was wishing that nobody would recognise us.

"What are we getting first?" he asked.

"Err...fairy eggs?"

"Right."

He led me down a street to a potion shop. It was a bit dark and dusty. An old man was sitting behind the counter, whistling to himself. Potter walked straight up to him and requested the ingredient. The man gave him a smile and handed over a little bag from behind the counter.

"One gallon."

Oops. I had forgotten my money. Potter pulled out his wallet and paid for them. I gave him a grateful smile and we walked out of the shop.

"Thanks."

"No problem. What do we need now?"

I handed him the list and watched him scan it again. I stood back and prepared myself in case he startled me again. Luckily he didn't and we kept walking. We got a few more things: an old book, a stuffed toy of a dog, scarab beetles, rope and a butterbeer. The last one wasn't necessary but I was thirsty.

"Would you like some lunch, Evans?" Potter asked politely as we walked up the secret passageway again.

"Yeah, I'm starving."

Potter checked his map in case anybody was coming and we snuck up to the corridor. We decided it was best to eat in the kitchens so that our story about being sick would be plausible. When we got there, we found Tasha crying in a corner. Without thinking, I walked over to her.

"Tasha, what's wrong?"

She looked up, startled. "Oh...nothing."

I turned to see where Potter had gotten to but all I saw was a floating cake. Typical.

"Satan's thong it's nothing."

"Lily?"

"Yes?"

"Why do you always make a mention of evil underwear?" Damn, Tasha is good. At least it cheered her up a bit.

"No reason."

"What are you doing down here? And where have you been?"

"I've been sick. I was getting a bit hungry so I though I would come to grab something to eat."

"Why do you have daisies in your pocket?"

I had to think hard. "They are for...Potter. Who is...also sick?"

She didn't notice my uncertainty. "Oh."

"What are you doing down here?"

"I'd rather not talk about it, Lils. You may ask _Amy_ if you want."

I didn't press her any further. But I don't know why she said Amy's name like it is a bad thing. I walked out of the kitchens, grabbing a lot of food from the house elves on the way. I met Potter outside the corridor and we walked back to the Head Dorms.

And that is where we are now.

"What else do you want to get today, Evans?"

"Right...umm. Lemon juice, sugar, silk...Actually, everything?"

"I already have the lemon and sugar from the kitchens. So, I'll write a list of where we can get the other things while you finish up in your diary."

Okay.

What a lovely thing to do.

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**And...stop! There we go, a new chapter. 8 pages of writing in Ariel size 12. Wait, the end of that sentence moved me on to 9 pages. Cool. 2652 Words. Who is very (very, very, very) lucky? I am!**

**Thanks to my reviewers. You guys are the bombdiggity! Okay, too many teen movies. Thanks to all my lovely helperouteras. I love you guys!**

**RG**


	5. The Shedevil

**Wow! I loved the response I got for last chapter. I am so sorry I haven't updated for ages. I've had my exams and needed to update my other stories first. I'd like to thank all my reviewers, without you I wouldn't be here today, writing this fic. Keep reviewing, not only for me, but for everybody else. It keeps spirits high and the chapters keep rolling in! I love you all (in the least sexual way possible)!

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**Wednesday 14****th**

**Head Common Room 3.15pm**

**Potter and I have just finished up the Prefect Plans and the Ingredient Plan**

Okay, so Potter and I are working together to find the last of the ingredients before the week is out. Here is my list:

**Ingredients and Where to Find Them (Sounds like book, aye?):**

1. ½ Mandrake leaf – Potions Store

2. 4 Spiders, alive – Unused classrooms

3. 2 ounces of fresh spring water – Jenna's dorm

4. Sweat – Quiddich practice

5. Silk – Tasha's closet

6. One drop of ink – Remus' room

7. Hair of choice – Scarlet's brush

8. Hotness – Ha! Eternal Flame

9. Protective – Potter is going to cast a protective spell on the potion before it is done

10. Romantic – One of Amy's old love letters

11. Quiddich Skills – Will come with the sweat

12. Smart – Along with intellectual with the old book from Hogsmeade

13. Loving – Also the love letter

14. Popular – Maybe we should use Sirius' hair (that gives us popular and hair of choice at the same time)

15. Charming – The old book is a Charms book...Solved!

16. Affection – A picture of me

* * *

**Wednesday 14****th**

**Head Common Room 5.30pm**

**Ready for dinner. Scarlet's mother is coming. Gulp!**

I'm scared. I'm really scared. I am so scared I am amazed I haven't passed out. Scarlet's mother is coming for dinner and Dumbledore even set out a special table for all the Gryffindor seventh years. I don't mind her father much, he is really funny. But her mother? I am petrified.

"Lily? What are you wearing?"

That was Scarlet. She said she would come to help me get ready. But I had no idea what she was wearing. She had on a beautiful scarlet – how very clever – dress and had her hair up in a bun.

"Ermm...this?"

I gestured down to what I was wearing. A pair of old jeans and a glittery top.

"No, no and no!"

Whoops!

"My mother won't even let you near her whilst wearing that, let alone talk to you. Here wear this."

She pulled out my old blue dress and a pair of bluish shoes. That dress outgrew me long ago. She whipped out her wand and made a few alterations.

"That's better. Now put it on!"

She ran through the bathroom to Potter's room.

"James, what are you wearing?"

I thought it would be fun to watch so I quickly changed into the dress and ran over to Potter's room, taking a brush to do my hair with along the way.

"But I don't _want_ to wear that. Mummy makes me wear it all the time."

"Well, I may not be your mother, but you _will_ wear it!"

Scarlet was holding clean, black dress robes up to him. I was amazed to see how short she was compared to him. It's like an ant and a caterpillar. Or maybe a killer whale and a blue whale. Meh, either one works.

"Now put it on!"

Scarlet will make a very (very, very, very) strict mother one day. She got Potter to wear something he obviously didn't want to wear. Once he had it on, and shot a few death glares at Scarlet, Potter looked up at me and smiled.

"You look nice."

I blushed. I mean,_ I_ blushed! What has the world come to?

"Thanks!"

Once Scarlet finished with my hair she turned to Potter.

"Your turn!"

Potter paled. "Bu-but!"

He went to make a run for it, but Scarlet was quicker and stunned him with her wand. Once he was frozen – in a funny position, mind you – she grabbed my brush and walked over to him.

"NO!" I screamed.

"What?" she snapped.

"Don't use _my_ brush. I don't want Potter germs!" I whinged, trying to pull the brush out of her hands.

It was no use. She shook me off and tried to brush Potter's hair with it. It didn't work very well. He still looked like he had just gotten off a broom.

"Potter!" she screamed, unfreezing him. "Your hair is impossible!"

He grinned. "It's the Potter men's trademark, I'm afraid. You will never ever get it to lie flat."

Here here! I tried while he was asleep once. Never works.

Scarlet forced us down to the Head's Common Room and made us both stand away from the fire, windows, doors and anything but each other.

"I don't want you mucking up your clothes. Now stay here until I get back. I'm going to double check the boys are ready."

We both nodded and stood around. By then, I couldn't take it anymore and started writing in my diary. But Scarlet is down with Potter now. He managed to keep her away while I wrote. Now, I just have to get back to them without stuffing up my clothes.

Oh dear.

* * *

**Wednesday 14****th**

**Back in my room 11.30 pm**

**Just came back from dinner.**

Well, that went okay.

Okay, so I am a cruel, harsh, terrible liar. It was catastrophic! I can't believe Dumbledore let that woman into the castle. But, he is a bit crazy. Here is what happened, right from when we left off...

"What are your parents' names, again?" Potter asked Scarlet as we all stood in the Entrance Hall, waiting for her family to come.

"Gareth and Frelina Montez. My brothers are David, Dylan, Tom, Jimmy, Samuel, Paul, Robert and Nathan."

Wow!

"Are they coming too?" Jenna asked, fixing Logan's hair with a wave of his wand.

"Yes," Scarlet said.

Poor thing. She sounded really nervous. But then, I didn't care. Amy and Tasha didn't have to come. It was just Logan, Tyler, Scarlet, Potter, Remus, Sirius, Jenna and I. I don't think Tasha and Amy should be left alone together. Not the way Tasha was this afternoon.

Before I could say anything witty, Scarlet gasped.

"What?" I asked.

"They're here!"

I couldn't see anybody. I don't know how she could tell they had arrived. But, a few moments later, David, Dylan, Tom, Jimmy, Samuel, Paul, Robert and Nathan all walked through the door. And boy, do they all look different from Scarlet. Every single last one of them are redheads. I wonder if Scarlet's parents handpicked them all. Poor, Scarlet. Being the only blonde and being the only girl. But hey! I had some redheads to talk to!

"David!" Scarlet said, kissing the tallest on the cheek.

"Dylan!" This time it was the short, young one. About seven.

"Tom!" The freckly one.

"Jimmy, Sammy, Paulie!" The three about a year younger than us. Wait a minute! Are they triplets?

"Nathan!" The chubby one to the back.

"And Robert!" Phwoar! He is probably cuter than all the Marauders put together! Did I just say that?

One by one, all the Montez boys all shook hands with all of the Hogwarts gang.

"Where are Mum and Dad?" Scarlet asked Tom.

"Out parking the car. Mum probably wanted to make an entrance."

Scarlet nodded. Logan looked about ready to sink into the ground. I felt sorry for him so I walked over to him and gave him a big hug. He was shaking, the poor thing. Before I had time to let go and ask is he was feeling any better, two hooded figures walked into the room. I was too stunned to move.

"Mum!" Scarlet said, forcing a grin. She walked over to her mother and gave her a big hug. Her mother was tall and graceful. She pushed her hood down to give her daughter a kiss, revealing the rest of her face. She had dark eyes, dark eyelashes, dark hair, a deep green hair accessory and an all round dark appearance. I shuddered.

"Daddy!" Scarlet squealed in a very (very, very, very) girlish way and ran to the other figure. Before she could reach him, he pushed back his hood and caught her. He swung her around and gave her a big hug.

"Hello, pumpkin. How's Daddy's favourite girl?"

His _only_ girl.

"I'm great!"

Gareth was extremely handsome. He reminded me of somebody, although for the life of me I can't remember who. Once Scarlet had taken her mother and father's cloaks (roughly shoving them in Logan's arms), Dumbledore waltzed out of the Great Hall. And when I mean waltzed, I don't mean he danced (that would be a sight!). He walked with those graceful glide kind of steps. He was wearing an elegant dark purple set of robes and a matching hat.

"Frelina!" he said, rushing towards her.

"Albus!"

They met in the middle and shook hands.

"It's lovely to see you again. Please, come right in." Dumbledore waved a hand and the oak Great Hall doors opened. Everybody slowly walked inside, and I finally let go of Logan. He didn't seem to notice, though.

When we walked inside (all 19 of us), there was a collective gasp. Apart from Dumbles. The Hall had been redecorated so that everything was all in a dark green theme. I, personally, thought it was some kind of Slytherin meeting at first. The four tables were moved across so only half the Hall was full. In the middle, were two beautifully decorated tables that looked like they seated eight on one and about twelve on the other. There were no seats on the smaller edges. The Montez boys automatically all sat around the eight-seater. I guess they had done it thousands of times before.

"Please, sit," said Dumbledore, pulling out a chair for Frelina. She gracefully sat, looking around at the rest of us.

"Well?" she snapped. "What are you waiting for?"

We all sat, out of fear more than anything. Jenna, Remus, Sirius, Tyler and Gareth all ran towards the other side of the table, bagging the best seats. I sat next to Logan and Potter. I was okay with that. Scarlet sat next to her mother and across from Dumbledore, Logan ending up opposite Frelina. Poor dear. So, let me get this right, the seating plan – clockwise from the top right hand corner – went Scarlet, Frelina, Gareth, Remus, Sirius, Jenna (and now beginning on the other side), an empty seat (which I should have sat at), Tyler, Potter, Me, Logan and then Dumbledore.

"Who's got the empty seat?" Potter asked, looking around.

Frelina glared at him. Dumbledore smiled. "Ah! That is for a special guest, when they arrive."

I really wanted to know who they were. But I didn't dare ask. Frelina was staring at me. And not in the kind way. More of the 'I wish you were dead' stare. A death glare, in other words.

"Who are you?" she asked, gaining everybody's attention.

I blushed. "Lily Evans," I squeaked.

Frelina pursed her lips. "My daughter's friend?"

I nodded, slowly sinking back into my chair. Scarlet sent me an apologetic smile, mouthing the word 'sorry'. I tried to smile, I really did, but I couldn't. Not in the presence of Frelina. The boys were talking and laughing on the other table and I found myself wishing I could be over there, away from _her_. Frelina turned to her daughter and her gaze softened.

"And who is your lovely new man, sweetie?" she asked, actually smiling. Smiling! Smiling in a scary way.

Scarlet looked scared. "Mum, meet Logan. Logan meet...my mother," she said, gesturing towards Logan, who was also sinking back.

Frelina's head snapped around to stare at him. "Nice to meet you," she said, drawing it out.

She didn't look like she was too happy to meet him. I quickly nudged Logan in the ribs and finally got him to do something other than stare.

"I'm Logan Blue," he said, extending his hand.

Frelina held it briefly. "Pleasure."

NOT!

Before Frelina could scare anybody else, Dumbledore engaged her in, what I assume was, an interesting conversation and most of us finally relaxed. Poor Scarlet was stuck away from everything. I tried to catch her eye and wave, but she didn't look up from her plate. Down the other end of the table, Jenna, Sirius and Remus were laughing about something Tyler had said. Gareth was talking to Potter about cars or something and I was left with Logan.

"Are you okay?" I asked, feeling kinda bored.

"Yeah, I'm just scared. If I don't pass the okay with Frelina, I don't know what could happen."

And that left me thinking about all the things. (Duh, Lily!)

**Possible things Scarlet's Mother will do to her boyfriend (starting with the first list I wrote):**

1. Chop his head off with a blunt axe and string his body parts around the Quiddich pitch and wipe her hands on his Keepers uniform when done.

2. Steal his clothes while he is in the shower and make him run around in the nude.

3. Publicly humiliate him by printing his biggest secrets onto the school flags for everyone to see after torturing his girlfriend – her daughter – into telling her what they are.

4. Come after him with an axe. (The blunt one from my former predictions).

5. Lock Scarlet up in a castle and force her to grow her hair long to be able to see him.

6. Turn her into an ogre and make him have to pretend nothing is up. Not that I have anything against ogres, I don't.

7. Put snakes in his bed. Yuck.

8. Give him death glares until he actually dies from one of the nastier ones.

9. Set hounds on him to bite off his legs and hospitalise him for the rest of his life.

10. Make him wait on her hand and foot.

11. Take his beloved Scarlet away from him.

Gasp! Do you know how bad it would be to take Scarlet away from him? It'd be worse than all the other things! It wouldn't be Scarlet and Logan any more. I would be Scarlet...and Logan. (Note the dots!)

"What's your name, again?"

I snapped my head up and realised Frelina was talking to me. The nasty She-devil.

"Lily."

Frelina stared at me. "Stand up!"

I did what I was told. I stood and she stared me over.

"What _are_ you wearing?"

I froze! Erm...a dress! I didn't answer.

"It's _hideous_!"

And that is when the tears started forming in my eyes. I didn't dare let them go, though. Potter noticed them and I cursed under my breath. Scarlet was shocked. I could tell. She stood up, pushing her chair back so roughly that it fell – making a BANG!

"Mum! Don't you _dare_ talk to my friend that way!"

Oh! Cat fight! (Claw, Claw!)

The She-devil stood too, towering over her daughter. The tears disappeared. I was _way_ too busy watching the argument. If only I had popcorn...

"And don't you dare talk to _me_ that way!"

Scarlet's eyes went all watery. "Mum, I hate you!"

GASP! SHOCK! HORROR!

Scarlet stormed out, Logan running after her as soon as he had given Frelina a death glare (much like the one she gave me). I slowly sat down, hoping the She-devil wouldn't notice. But, before I could sit down, the She-devil sent a curse at me, making my legs go jelly like. I fell to the ground, slamming my head into the floor. It hurt, I can't tell you that.

"Frelina!" Dumbledore yelled, standing up. I reckon his eyes flashed. "Please, calm yourself!"

Potter dropped to the floor alongside me and lifted my head of the ground and onto his lap. "I think you have a concussion," he said with all the ease of telling me I had two eyes and a nose. But how did he know?

I would have gotten up, but I was very (very, very, very) comfortable on the floor and I was immobile. Potter slowly lifted me up over his shoulder and walked over to the Great Hall's doors.

"Where are you taking her?" Jenna asked, running over to us.

"Hospital Wing, she has a concussion."

"Wouldn't you think it best to not have her hanging upside down over your shoulder where the blood can rush to it?"

"Meh! It's easier this way."

Jenna frowned.

"I could always levitate her if you want..." Potter started, ready to put me down.

"No no, that's quite alright. You just do it your way."

I was rather upset about this seeing as I had my butt facing everyone and had my nose almost touching the doors during the whole conversation. Potter (I'm guessing) took one last look at the She-devil/Dumbles duel and marched me out of the Hall, poor me waving to Jenna as I went.

"You okay up there, Evans?" Potter asked, walking up the stairs.

I groaned or murmured or something so he continued. We were almost a few corridors away, when we came across Scarlet and Logan. Luckily, not Scarlet...and Logan. Yet. I couldn't really see what was happening until Potter turned around and went the other way. As he turned the corner, I caught a glimpse of Scarlet sitting on Logan's lap, crying like a little baby who was denied candy! I wanted to go make her feel better, but I was slowly being dragged away to the Hospital Wing like a sack of potatoes over Potter's shoulder.

As we entered the Wing, Pomfrey rushed over to us and requested Potter put me down on a bed. He did, rather gently, and Pomfrey dashed away to her medicine cabinet, ordering Potter make sure I am kept awake.

"So...will you stay awake for me?"

I nodded. But maybe, if I close my eyes, he won't notice.

"Evans! Just talk to me, okay?"

"Ooh! First names, very angry person you are, Potter."

"Okay then, what is your middle name?"

"Marree."

"Who is your best friend?"

"Scarlet and Jenna."

"Why?"

"Don't ask me questions I don't know the answer to!"

"Why?"

"Because!"

"Why?"

"Because!"

"Why?"

"Mr Potter, please step away so I can give Miss Evans her potion."

Potter stepped back and Pomfrey stuffed a horrible vial down my throat. It tasted like some form of rotten apple mixed with cherry medicine and an anchovy on the side. Oh! And a splash of avocado.

"Yuck!" I said, spitting the vial out once I had swallowed the orange liquid. Yes, orange!

Potter sniggered. I threw him a dirty look when Pomfrey turned away. He flipped me the bird. Loser.

"You may go now, Miss Evans."

I smiled and slowly stood up. I was a few steps away from the door when Pomfrey yelled out, "Mr Potter? Could you please accompany Miss Evans back to her room? She needs sleep and I would advise that you help her walk!"

I scowled. I really wanted to go back to the Great Hall and watch the She-devil fight with Dumbledore. But, I really didn't feel very well at all. Before I could even try to object, Potter held my hand and, with the other hand, grabbed me around the waist – directing me from behind.

"Easy now!"

The door closed behind us. I scowled at him.

"But I wanna see the fight!" I whinged.

Potter grinned. "Same. But you know what Poppy said, you need sleep!"

He helped me climb back down the stairs until we got to the right floor. I kept both an eye and an ear out for any sign of Scarlet or Logan, but we came across nobody until we were a few metres away from the Portrait Hole.

"What do you think you are doing?" the blonde prefect asked us, frowning. If only I could remember her name. "And why are you out late, without uniform?"

Potter took over. "Because we were at the special dinner, which _you_ weren't invited to! _And_ because we are Head Girl and Head Boy!"

Ha! Take that, Hansel! Yeah, that's her name (and an odd one at that). Now I remember!

"Oh!" she said in a flirty manner. Wait a second! Flirty? Yuck. With Potter? Even yuckier! "Well then, I'll let you go through."

"Thank you!" Potter said rudely.

He led me into the Common Room. On most of the tables were plates of food and jugs of pumpkin juice. It seems the students were all left to eat in the Common Room instead of the Great Hall. Before I could tell off a fifth year who was taking a photo of me and Potter within a close proximity, Potter opened the Head Portrait Hole and had me miss out.

"Oi! Not fair! That picture is going to be all over the school tomorrow!" I said, frowning.

"So? As long as you and I know the truth, it shouldn't get to us."

If that is how the Marauders never get embarrassed, then I am willing to try it out. Can't hurt, can it?

"Well, I'm going to get my homework done and wait until Jenna is back to get the 511, so if you'll please let go of me..." I said, pulling my hand out of his.

"Not so fast. Poppy said you need rest and that is what you will get."

He prodded me in the back until I got to the top of my staircase. I was feeling pretty dizzy. Maybe I shouldn't have made him let go, because what happened next...well.

"Evans?" Potter said, pulling me up from the floor where I had fallen. "Come on, you're going to bed."

He picked me up and carried me over to my bed. I wanted to protest, I really did, but, again, my head hurt too much. He threw me my pyjamas and drew the curtains around my bed.

"You have to the count of ten to get ready or I'm sending somebody to come do it for you."

Haha...wouldn't that be funny?

"Ten..."

I pulled my shoes off, cursing the She-devil under my breath.

"Nine..."

She is such a horrible person.

"Eight..."

I would hate to be Scarlet right now.

"Seven..."

I mean, who does that to their child's friends?

"Six..."

I hope my Mum never does it.

"Five..."

I really hope.

"Four..."

Wouldn't it suck?

"Three..."

"Oh, no! Wait, I haven't started!"

I heard Potter sigh. "Two and three quarters..."

I ripped the dress off and stuffed my pyjama top on by the time he was up to 'one quarter'.

"Done!" I yelled, springing from the bed.

"Err...Evans?"

"Yes?"

"You haven't got any pants on."

I sniggered. "Whoops!"

I reached across my bed to grab them and pulled them on.

"You are seriously affected by that potion, aren't you?" Potter asked with an eyebrow raised.

Maybe I am, maybe I'm not.

"Let's go swimming!" I yelled.

Okay, maybe I was...WAS! I'm not anymore.

"No, Evans. It's bed time."

Potter used his arm to trip me over and onto my bed from where I was jumping up and down on my trunk. I slowly climbed under my covers and tossed around for a while.

"Sleepy," I murmured, the potion still taking its effect.

"Yes, I know."

I grunted something and he crouched down next to me. "Nighty-night. Don't let the bed bugs bite."

"Night, Jamsie!" I said, hugging my pillow. I am such a freak.

Potter walked out of my room and to his through the bathroom, which seems to be the hot spot for group meetings lately. I slowly fell asleep. I'm guessing a few hours later, I woke up again and pulled out my diary, and, sitting on my bed, I wrote what had happened. But now, I am too tired to do anything more so I'll go back to bed and wait until morning to ask Jenna what happened. And grab a muffin. I'm starving. No dinner makes Lily a hungry girl.

* * *

**Over 4000 words! I hope that makes up for the lateness. Again, I would love a review or two! Maybe three. Oh, and a muffin.**

**All fanfic and no muffin makes RG a slow writer.**

**Thanks again to all my reviewers.**

**Next chapter: We find out what happened once Lily and James left. Oh! And the little kid with the camera!**

**RG**

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**


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